Archive: undefined/2014

Monday Go Meditation: Game 64

Contrary to what I said last week, this week’s Monday Go Meditation features my Yunguseng Dojang game from last week. The reason for this is two-fold: (1) I didn’t play any other games over the past two weeks and (2) I’m still trying to keep MGM as current as possible.

As I mentioned before, I was feeling rather iffy before this game. My opponent was around 4–5k in strenghth, and with my ups and downs lately, I wasn’t so sure that I could even beat him. But before I could wallow too much in my own insecurities, the game started.

Note: Similar to the other YSD match I posted last week, any specific things I learned from the review will be omitted in this game to respect other members’ paid membership.

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Trying to Put the Pieces Back Together

I played the second round of my Yunguseng match tonight. To be honest, it was a game of mixed feelings. Though I hate to admit it, I’m not quite out of my slump yet. I could definitely feel it as I started getting antsy when the game began. I started being negative and worried that I would lose again. Yet on the other hand, there were moments where I managed to give my game some life as I surged forth with a desire to attack and try to harass my opponent’s group with as much vigor as I could muster up.

It was a bit weird being in this bi-polar/gray area of feeling like my go was rather aimless, having it spring back to life, making bad moves where I was completely off with my reading, and then having lively energy again. Then again I guess this is all part of trying to put the pieces together again. They don’t quite fit together at the moment, but I’m optimistic that they will become whole once again.

And though I would normally be concerned with how fast it would take or when it would happen, I’ve realized that doing so will not do me any good. I’ll just keep working on my weaknesses and play to the best of my ability. Everything will fall into place in due time.

PS. There won’t be any detailed commentary for this game, but I just wanted to mention that there are quite a number of mistakes and overplays in this game. So in case anyone wants to point out things like my lower left corner was supposed to die and so forth, no worries, got it all in the review.

Monday Go Meditation: Game 63

For this week, I’ve decided to honor a request made by my friend Rob who asked that I review the game that was the cause for my post on being confused. Though I haven’t been commenting on games from YSD, I’ve decided to make an exception for this one.

Just to note though, any specific insight that was taught by Inseong is withheld from the commentary in order to respect other member’s paid memberships. So while I will comment on what I understood on my own, any specific details will be omitted in this review. Hope you enjoy this review!

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Monday Go Meditation: Game 62

About a week ago, there was a bit of discussion about the importance of endgame. Now while I would never even begin to propose that endgame is not important or can't make a huge difference, I was saying how I didn't think studying it would serve kyu players as much as say dan players.

Ironically, the game featured this week was played shortly after the discussion and happened to feature endgame as the shining star of the game. In addition, this game is also a good example of competing moyos and how critical points in shape and boundaries can make a huge difference in the resulting outcome. Hope you enjoy this review!

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Stumbling Through the Dark

Today I added another notch to my losses. It was a 2 stone handicap game against a 1k and I completely goofed at the end. No reason I shouldn’t have won, but I just couldn’t see it through.

And the funny thing is that this trend seems to be consistent with other things I tried to switch my attention to momentarily (like League of Legends). Part of me wonders whether I’ve acquired some sort of “losing” mindset; but on second though, it’s rather unlikely since I know that starting off any game being like “I’m going to lose anyways” is a recipe for disaster.

As this is the first day in my quest to return back to my origins, I shouldn’t be surprised that things are not much different than yesterday. There’s a big mix of frustration, loss, and clarity all at the time. And to be honest, it feels as if stumbling through the dark blindly reaching for anything I can hold on to to feel like I’m making progress. I have no idea if it’s going to get me where I want to go, but it certainly seems to beat standing still.

On the bright side, I’m glad I’m not gambling any time soon.

Losing Sight of My Go

Today I played a game against a 2k as Black (with 45 min main time settings). It’s been a long time since I’ve played a game with such long time settings where the opponent actually used up most of his/her time. In fact, it was a little nerve wracking because the quality of the moves were quite different. Far less impulsive ones and much more proper moves that were given a lot of thought. I felt I had decent control of the game for the most part, but started losing control of it towards the later half of the middle game. Around this time, my opponent misclicks.

At first I was thrilled to see the mistake, but then the undo request instantly popped up and I was confronted with the conflicting decision as to wheter I should give him the undo or not. Long story short, he was supposed to gain about 8 points in sente, but misclicked and put his own stones in atari so that I could capture them instead, save my stones, and gain a few points myself.

For 95% of spectators out there, the answer is crystal clear: it was an obvious misclick. In that moment however, though I’m ashamed to say it, I wanted to win so badly that I tried to brush off his undo and play on. I tried to resolve my cognitive dissonance by telling myself that it was his fault that he misclicked. Not my problem. Within a few moves however, I woke to my senses and realized how pitiful I was being. So I resigned in order to try and pick up what little self-respect I had left.

The reason I’m writing about this is because I realized I have become too caught up in winning. Even though my name was created with the idea that I had found zen in go, I think that it has become so far from the truth (especially as of late). With each game recently, any sense of calmness or zen has been consistently disturbed by the notion of winning or losing. And with each game, I am concerned that I am losing sight of my go.

This ends now. I don’t care if I have to drop ten stones to get back to it, but I’m going to put the pieces that started this blog back together: Ben + Go + Zen.

Thursday Go Tygem: Game 07

Introduction

After my third game in Yunguseng Dojang, I became a lot more comfortable playing White. Maybe it’s because I’ve started to really appreciate having komi. Either way, I’m glad to have broken away from my fear of playing White.

This game was the first one I played after being dispelled of that anxiety of playing White. And believe it or not, it was actually a rather calm game where no dramatic battles of life and death occurred. See for yourself below!

Game Summary

no,Category,Good,Bad
1,Opening,Move 30 - Using the knight’s move to gain sente from the 3-3 invasion was a big reason why I could get an advantage this game., Surprisingly I cannot find any fault with my opening. Please let me know if you spot something I missed!
2,Middle Game,”Overall it was quite peaceful and neither played created any big weak groups, but I managed to take more territory overall.”, N/A
3,Fighting,”To my surprise, there wasn’t much fighting in this game.”, N/A
4,Endgame,Move 164-175 - I was proud to find this sequence that reduced a lot of Black’s points in sente., Hard to find any big flaws in my endgame. It seemed I was stronger than my opponent in this area.
5,Overall Reading,Move 100 - Finding this preparatory move for the resulting sequence was a big step forward for me.,Move 52 - I completely missed the double atari when I played here. Shame on me.
6,Strategy,Move 78 - Realizing that it would be difficult to continue severely attacking the Black group and simply cashing in on territory is a move I used to find it impossible to do.,”Move 52 - Even if we assume this move works, there wasn’t much strategic value here since White did not have great potential in the center nor a weak group to attack.”

Monday Go Meditation: Game 60

With this week, we continue on with Game #4 of Maaike's April Challenge, which also happens to be the first round of the 1st Washington Open Baduk Championship that I participated in a month or so ago. Though it ended up being a completely crazy roller coaster of a match, it is an excellent example of how volatile games can be in tournaments. Because of the pressure of competition, players will look for any slack move or advantage they can to reverse the game. With that said, hang on to your seats cause this is going to be a bumpy one!

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