As I’ve been recounting my experience at Go Congress, I can only chuckle as I look at how different things are in comparison back to then. At the time, not only was I feeling overwhelmed by everything I was facing in life; but I was feeling a bit burnt out by go as well. Perhaps it was as simple as trying to do too much at once, but I believe that it was a result of having unrealistic expectations for myself.
What do I mean by that? Well, as all serious go players are aware, one of the major milestones in a go player’s journey is crossing the threshold of kyu to dan. And while it is true that I may have already crossed that threshold, part of me was always worried that I wasn’t as strong as other people thought I was. Or worse, maybe I was even weaker than even what I thought. As a result, you can see my that my KGS ranked has drifted down to 4k and has little to no ranked games. Because at the end of the day, it was easier for me to have a lower rank on KGS and know internally that I was stronger than the other way around (aka finding out I hit some ceiling in my rank).
I’m sure it sound weird and stupid to some of you, but that’s the truth of it all. Simple self-protection from what reality may hold. Haha. Of course, by doing so, I’ve created a ceiling that might just not exist. So now that I know it, I plan on playing more ranked games in the near future. But since it’ll take some time for me to build up to it, I’ve found a nice intermediary solution thanks to Satoru: GoQuest (Apple / Android ).
On the surface, it looks like your typical 9x9 app; but from what I heard, this app has gotten pretty popular in Japan recently. It has a mix of opponents (i.e., human and bots); but what really takes the cake, is that apparently some professionals even play on it as well. So while I have no way of confirming that rumor, I kind of like the idea that I may have a chance of getting demolished by a pro when I play. Haha. (Here’s my invitation code for those interested who want to try it out: n1ek8du)
And finally, I’m figuring out a way to integrate game commentaries back into my routine now. So if all goes well, be on the lookout for Monday Go Meditation to come back next Monday!