In a Weird Limbo with My Go

Over the past weekend, I decided to ramp up my activity on Nova.gs for a few reasons:

1. I want to support the developers by helping improve their user base and become a part of the founding community.
2. I was not playing enough games (in real time) and needed some outlet for me to practice applying things I am learning while trying new things out. By doing so, I’m hoping that my in real time games will become stronger.
3. As much as correspondence games are harder for me to play since I feel like my thoughts are constantly disjointed, I figured it would help me with practicing constant whole board thinking and positional judgment before each move.
   In terms of my overall emotions though, I’m in this weird limbo with go. Normally when people are conflicted on their journey, most might describe it as being at a fork in the road. Recently for me however, I feel as if I’m standing in a forest while surrounded by a dense fog. There is this sense of stumbling one step at a time without quite knowing where I’m headed. I’m trying a lot of different things, but I’m feeling rather lost in terms of what is holding me back.

To be clear though, this emotion is different from feeling burned out. I still enjoy all the time I spend on go, but I’m starting to wonder whether any of it is helping me get stronger. But no matter, I just have to have faith in my training regimen and move forward with what I enjoy. As long as I do that, I believe that I’ll be able to make more sense of this when I finally emerge from this haze.