So as some of you might have noticed, I’ve been playing a lot more games recently. However, it seems I am on a losing streak; but it’s not all bad since it means I’m back in experimental mode. My rank has even dropped down to 6k it seems, but this is partially due to the fact that I haven’t played enough ranked games where I actually have time to think. So I really don’t give much credence to my rank drop.

I know for most people, the losing streak plus rank drop is enough to go on a rampage and think about quitting the game. In actuality though, I have found it’s really important to focus on the cause of the loss instead of the loss itself. Perhaps it’s simple reading error? Or perhaps just a rigid approach to the game. Either way, I always find comfort knowing that I have the capability to make a change in my game if I choose. It’s just a matter of swallowing my pride and a willingness to overcome the obstacles that stand in my way.

On a separate note, I have kept true to my promise on sealing away the Chinese Opening. It has yet to make an appearance even though I am on a losing streak. However, I am not tempted in the slightest to bring it back out yet. After all, for those who read Hajime no Ippo, I feel like the Chinese Opening is kind of like my “Dempsey Roll.” I am quite skilled at utilizing it to great effectiveness; but there’s been so much study on it that I must seal it away for now. Once I patch up my other weaknesses though, I have a feeling that I will be able to unleash something fearsome when I finally break the seal on it.

For those who have not heard the news, there is talk of the possibility of Lee Sedol coming to the United States (Source: GoGameGuru). For those who are not aware of who Lee Sedol is, he is one of the top professional players right now. While many of us in the Western hemisphere could only dream about the possibility of even seeing one of his games live in person, the mere thought that I could possibly meet him in person and (in the ultimate of possibilities) actually get lessons from him is just….

Although even if that ends up becoming true, it won’t happen for at least another three to four years. So, guess I have a bit of work to do until then huh? After all, I wouldn’t want him spending time trying to teach me obvious mistakes that I myself notice.

With that potential awesomeness aside, my losing streak continues to thrive as I wrap up my final ASR games. Just one more left to go. After that, it’s time to do a serious assessment of my training regimen.

I’ve been on a losing streak these last couple of days. I could blame it on any number of things, but I know that one of my immediate problems is not knowing when to stop while I’m ahead.

In my quest to maintain zen state throughout the entire game, it seems that the red eyed goblin still creeps up as the game goes on. My killing instinct is subdued to the point where I’m generally attacking without a thought of killing, but then it starts to move towards the end of the game and then I realize that capturing an entire group is possible. All of a sudden, the hunt is on and next thing I know I’m clicking the resign button since one of my groups dies in the battle.

It seems I am still unable to step back and just ask myself, “What is the estimated score? Should I continue being so aggressive? Is it time to wrap up the game?” It’s something that dan players are telling me time and time again, but I keep getting caught up in the moment and being too focused on determining tactical strategies instead of figuring out if my global strategy needs to change.

I do feel an urge to go play another game so I can (in my mind) beat my opponent and feel better about myself, but it is not as strong as it normally is. Hopefully this is a sign of growth on my part. I am happy with the game that I played (for the most part). I just wish I didn’t give it away due to being careless due to my blood lust. To keep myself from falling back into a reckless go state though, I will play it safe and just stop for now.

So I’m unbelievably busy with grad school work now, but that didn’t stop me from trying to play today. I have a ten page paper to finish by 7:00pm, and I played go… I know…. Anyhow, I lost my first game due to failing to defend a single point. Unfortunately, with all the stress, lack of sleep, and urgency of other things that I need to do, I went on tilt and could not regain composure. Against my better judgment, I went ahead and played another game after that. No good either. Two resignations. Ugh…

The lesson of the day is simple. It’s just like Yuan Zhou told me, “When you play Go, you don’t want to have other distractions or other tasks eagerly waiting your attention.” And I definitely think that all this school stuff definitely impacted the quality of my games. sigh. It was two games… need to just move on.

Make that three losses… this is just an awful streak. I’m being outfought in every battle… absolutely pathetic…